


Before I Leave You

by shopfront



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bittersweet, F/F, Missing Scene, Sibling Incest, fairytale theme, pre-season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-30
Updated: 2011-06-30
Packaged: 2017-10-20 21:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shopfront/pseuds/shopfront
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana rewrites her life with Morgause as a fairytale, the night before she leaves for Camelot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before I Leave You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yue_ix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yue_ix/gifts).



> Thank you to biodamped for her usual, wonderful devotion of time to reviewing and betaing my work.

"I don't know how I shall do without you," Morgana mused out loud, her eyes fixed on the horizon while she listened to Morgause rifling through her piles of books.

Morgause had enclosed herself in this dusty corner of the castle for days. She often rose long before sunrise and stayed until well beyond the twilight, and - once Morgana had risen - they sat side by side, browsing through the pages of the lost corners of Morgause's library. But not today. All day long Morgause had been turning pages while Morgana merely kept her company, dutifully waiting for her sister's concentration to break.

Still she waited for Morgause to end her search for the forgotten magics she'd share with Morgana before the morning. Before Morgana travelled to intercept the knights of Camelot.

Before she was no longer under Morgause's protection.

"You've become the happy ending my maids always told me about when I was a little girl," she continued with a light laugh.

"What do you mean, sister?" Morgause asked absentmindedly, head still bent over books.

"They were forever promising me a future where someone brave and kind would sweep me away to their castle." Morgana dropped her gaze to where her hands rested against glass, tracing invisible patterns against the pane. "And then you came, and offered me a chance to leave Uther's reign behind me. Not just to leave, but to reach for true freedom, more than I thought I'd ever have."

"I wouldn't have thought your maids would have encouraged you to escape your King and run away with another woman," Morgause teased, still turning pages.

"Depends on the maid," Morgana smirked, shifting her hand to trace Morgause's reflection in the glass, biting her lip when Morgause's face snapped up.

"And what tales do you think your handmaiden will tell when you return?"

Even in the watery reflection on the glass, Morgana could see the intensity of Morgause's gaze, could feel it burning on her neck. She dropped her eyes, straightened the corners of her lips, and turned her head, presenting an appropriately innocent profile while she spoke.

"I imagine Gwen will tell me tales of happier times. Times before, when I had always been safe at Camelot and never been 'kidnapped'. Tales," Morgana paused deliberately, sucking in a deep breath, "that she might lull me to sleep with."

Morgause didn't reply immediately, and the silence stretched between them. The tip of her quill tapped three times against the surface of her desk in quick succession, seemingly deafening in the quiet of Morgana's waiting - bang bang bang - and then she heard the chair scrape back.

"Do you think she will paint me a villain for you?"

Morgause was as regal in the cramped, spindly desk of a rotting library as she would be on a throne. Her image was imposing even as she sprawled a little, with her legs stretched alongside the desk instead of under it and her shoulders rigid as they watched each other in the glass.

"Oh no," Morgana said, looking away from the window and back over her shoulder, back at Morgause herself. "Gwen wouldn't tell me one of those tales, with women always in distress -"

She turned and leant back on her palms against the sill, her smirk stretching into a smile. The curtains swayed with her movement, depositing a fine layer of dirt on her slippers, but she paid them no mind; she was fixed upon the sight of Morgause's expression finally beginning to relax. Morgause smiled a little in return, waiting for Morgana to continue.

"- no. You would never belong in one of those stories."

"Oh?" Morgause arched a brow. "I thought I made quite the dashing rescuer in the end."

Morgana pushed herself away from the wall and crossed the space between them to caress Morgause's cheek. "No," she said softly. "Though you were very gallant coming to my aid like that. But you have always been your most dashing when you've helped me to help myself."

Morgause clasped Morgana's hand in her own and pressed her face against the palm, stroking her thumb along Morgana's wrist. Then with a tug she pulled her, tumbling and laughing, down into her lap.

"There was once a time when I feared that you would be like every other silly girl at court; just waiting and hoping to be rescued by another," she said.

"I didn't say I disliked your coming to my rescue," Morgana chuckled.

Morgause's face stilled, and her brow furrowed. Her gaze seemed very far away for a moment - as it always did, eventually, when they spoke of that day - but Morgana wouldn't have it. Not on this night, their last.

Sweeping her skirts up in her hands, Morgana stood, shook the cloth back out, and then took Morgause by the hand and pulled her to her feet.

"There is still-"

"There are no books in the world that will make me safer than I already am," Morgana said, cutting her off decisively. Silent once more, she led Morgause out of the library and through their home. Down all the long corridors they walked without a word, until they left the dust and the warped furniture behind them, and re-entered the rooms which they had made comfortable for themselves.

Without words, Morgana unlaced Morgause's dress and unbuckled the weapons strapped to her under the sheathes of fabric, then turned so Morgause could do the same.

"I, also, do not know how I shall do without you," Morgause said quietly, stroking the back of Morgana's neck as she swept her hair aside to reach the fastenings.

When it was done, Morgana let the fabric slip from her shoulders and turned, disregarding the way it twisted about her feet. Reaching up, she stroked Morgause's forehead, easing and pressing away the tension. Then she let herself fall, bringing them down in a tumble upon their bed. She laughed, happy to be away from that room and its heavy, mournful thoughts. But Morgause pressed her into the bed, holding Morgana still with her fingers wrapped around Morgana's wrists; shushed her, hard, with her lips, when she opened hers to speak.

"I-," Morgause started, pulling back, and then seemed to stop herself.

Morgana watched her wordlessly, letting her gaze wander from her eyes to her brow, down her cheek, to her lips. "You need to let go of your fear," she said, flexing her wrists just a little without trying to pull free.

"I'd feel better if we could do something about Arthur's manservant," Morgause confessed, her face hovering, still, just out of Morgana’s reach.

"You needn't fear losing me, he won't surprise me again," Morgana replied. She watched Morgause's eyes, and the rest of the room - the world - was hidden away by the fall of Morgause's hair. Morgana's voice was soft but grew with intensity, turning hard and flinty with every successive syllable. "I am yours now, Camelot cannot have me -"

' _She_ cannot have you,' Morgause bent her head and breathed against Morgana’s lips.

"- and I will never let them take me from you."

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone familiar with the fest on livejournal please note that this crossposting in no way implies an impatience or anything else negative towards the modding of the fest. It's more of an acknowledgement to the current unsure deadline for reveals and my own scattered fandom-ing lately, and the likelihood that if I don't crosspost/reveal now when it has occurred to me there's an unfortunately good chance I never will. And that would suck because I quite enjoyed writing this and would correspondingly like it up in my own journals/archive! Despite pre-reveal crossposting, I hold all the understanding and patience I could possibly hold for the original fest and whatever timeline it is or isn't concluded on.


End file.
